One of our users wrote in and asked about a painful situation she walked through several years ago. God had revealed to her that the enemy was going to come against one of her friends. She didn’t know what to do with this revelation, so she prayed for him. He later died, and for years she has wondered if she should have done something more.
I know several people who have gone through similar situations. They were given revelation, had dreams, or just sensed that something bad was going to happen to someone they care about. They didn’t know what to do with what God showed them, so they prayed about it, and consequently, some of them have lived with guilt for years, thinking that if they had just handled the situation differently, they could have saved the person’s job, or his or her marriage, or even the person’s life.
Why does this happen? Why does God give us warnings like these, and how are we supposed to respond?
God’s training process
First, God will put us in difficult or potentially confusing situations in order to train us. He knows we don’t understand how to handle certain things, and that is why we’re in the situation — so we can learn what to do in the future.
As people say, hindsight is 20/20. We may know to do certain things now that we didn’t know to do then, but there is no reason for us to feel guilty for that.
When God is training us, He knows we don’t know what we’re doing, and especially in training situations, we are not the ones who are responsible for making sure the outcome is positive. The only burden on us is to do what we know to do and for our hearts to be in the right place. That is all.
When He trains us, He is assuming the role of supervisor. It’s like being in driver’s ed. Yes, we may be the one behind the wheel, but the instructor next to us can grab the wheel if he needs to, and he often has a brake on his side of the car as well. If we get into a situation we can’t handle, the teacher will take over. It’s a safe situation for us to learn in, because we have the freedom to make mistakes, and we’re not fully responsible for everything that’s going on.
If we understand God’s training process, we will be able to do what He says and then let the rest go, without being overcome with guilt. In other words, if we had the burden to pray for someone, and we prayed, we did what God asked us to do. That was all we needed to worry about.
Hand in hand with this, we can do only what we have been given favor to do. Many of us who have walked through difficult situations like this weren’t in a place to change those situations. We didn’t have a lot of favor to speak into others’ lives. We didn’t necessarily have the knowledge or even the vocabulary to articulate what God had told us. All we had was the revelation and the understanding to pray.
The what-if questions that arise after any situation that has turned out badly shouldn’t be used for condemnation or guilt; they should be used as stepping-stones to greater wisdom. What if we had told the person what we were sensing or what we had dreamed? Maybe they would have fought harder and enacted change, or maybe they would have become more depressed. What if we had told other people? Maybe they would have received it and prayed as well, or maybe they wouldn’t have believed it. When God brings up questions such as these, He is not intending us to feel guilty; they’re meant to help us seek Him out and grow in wisdom, stature, and favor.
God’s conviction vs. the enemy’s guilt
This brings us to the second point. Conviction from God is specific: Next time, do this instead. Guilt and shame are diffused; they don’t have a point. Maybe there was something we could have done better, but if there was and God shows us this, He does so because it is part of our training, not because He wants to add to our already guilt-ridden conscience.
Again, we can expect conviction to be specific, and when we respond to it and repent, the weight of it falls away. It’s done. Everything left over — any fear, guilt, or shame — isn’t of God, so we don’t have to pay attention to those things. If they try to latch onto us, we should ask God to help us push them away. If it isn’t from Him, we don’t have to deal with it.
We are responsible only for our own decisions
The last main point is this: God gives us responsibility, and if we don’t do what we’re responsible for, yes, God will correct us. However, we have to understand where our responsibility begins and where it ends. We are not responsible for someone else’s decisions. We are responsible only for our own.
Depending on the situation and the people involved, even if we were perfect in doing everything God wanted us to do, it may not change the outcome. We can do only what God gave us to do, and often, He will give us responsibilities in the midst of a sinking ship. In other words, we can do our job in a bad situation, and that situation can still go really badly. Why? Because we weren’t responsible for keeping the ship afloat. We were responsible for doing only what He asked of us.
Clearly, we can be sad over someone else’s bad decisions; we can grieve and mourn over them, but we cannot take responsibility for them. If we do, we’re assuming God’s role — that we are somehow capable of changing the situation or the person. We are not.
Leave the burden with God
In summation, we shouldn’t feel bad if we’re not perfect in a training situation; our lack of understanding could be why we’re in the situation to begin with. We should recognize the difference between conviction and shame, and we should recognize what we are responsible for. If God gave us the burden to pray, and we prayed, we did what He wanted us to do. He can tell us, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” even if everything around us fell apart.
If you are dealing with any guilt or false responsibility, turn it over to God. Let Him have it. You may even want to act this out physically by lifting the “weight” off your shoulders and giving it to Him.
The simple truth is that we can trust God to bear our burdens (Psalm 68:19). If we try to handle them ourselves, we’re taking on God’s role and building up a wall around us, one that will keep Him at a distance. We are struggling and wearing ourselves out trying to be something He never intended us to be. There is an incredible amount of freedom in realizing who God is, who we are in His sight, and who He wants to be in our lives.
The Surviving God’s training process by Jim Driscoll, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Thank you for this clarification/teaching. I have been struggling for years with this issue. Sometimes I feel like I have based my decisions on revelation then, at other times, I think maybe it wasn’t revelation at, just fear or some other negative thing. I want to print this out and feed on it for awhile as I really need to get this. Thank you again … you have ministered to me today in a great way..God bless you and Happy New Year!
Thanks for that:) I agree with you completely that God is specific in conviction and does not leave us to try to figure out how He wants us to change.
This was very helpful to me in a simplified way. It takes “the performance” pressure off . It is a reminder at the end of the year as we reflect on our lives & ask Father “What about this,etc…” & we also ask Him for alignment in the coming year. We can anticipate the different ways He will show us things & what we will do together. I just watched a “G” rated, animated movie called “UP” that brought this process home for me.
Thanks for posting this article. How so easily we can forget that we are in training. We are continually learning. Therefore, we will make mistakes. All that we are responsible for is to act on what God gives us. We are to pray. When it is not clear what to do, it is often best to do nothing. There’s no point in beating ourselves up over things of the past which we still are unclear of. Even if we now know what we should have done, the past is the past and we have learned from that error. I know that I can be hard on myself. And, in reality, I have no right to be. I go to God for forgiveness when I err and God forgives me. Therefore, I am not entitled to hang on to guilt. Otherwise, I may be stepping in and acting as though I am higher than God. And, the Lord knows that I don’t want to do this. Therefore, let us allow God to be God. We will follow His revelations and directives to the best of our ability. What we don’t understand, He will reveal to us. At times, we may not get an answer. God knows what is best for each one of us. There are situations which we may never totally understand. We need to accept this, also, and trust God in all things. Once more, thanks for this great article. It left me with an appreciation for the art of learning. It is ongoing all through one’s life. Have we a teacheable spirit? Are we willing to grow and to get intimate with God? Learning is a good way of doing so. Learning is an indispensable tool.
Wow, thanks Jim! I needed to hear this!!
Wow! Thanks Jim! I needed to hear this!! God bless you!
Wow, this was powerful. Thank you. I needed to hear this, I have let guilt rule me for long enough. Happy New Year, and I pray the Lord bless you and your family and staff. Sincerely, Stormy
WOW! EXCELLENT Article! Thank you, so much Jim! All I can say is that it’s priceless to receive this kind of wisdom. I thank God for releasing His gift into people such as yourself. I feel more at peace, now. I love the wisdom of God almighty.
dustin
Thank you thank you thank you!
This so ministers to my spirit.
The Lord recently said to me”You are not responsible for the choices of others. You should be a witness to my love but you do not choose for another. I want you to walk in the freedom of your choices and you can choose to walk in your destiny.(dec 9.09)
This is such an amazing confirmation.
I am encouraged re the wisdom of the teaching and it has helped me.
Many years ago I had a sadness overcome me during a visit with a friend and her husband. Later he disappeared and I thought i saw him on the streets of our city in the downtown core. Several months later he was found( he had committed suicide). I know my heart was praying but I always felt guilt at not being more aware. Your teaching has put this issue to rest.
NOT GUILTY
Blessings
Susan Ilk
Thank you for these thought. I have often wondered about this. Are there situations where you should get others involved, like your pastor, other Christians more mature than you? Sometimes I will see something that involves someone in the care of another person and share with the caregiver, and they end up praying into it and it turns out really well. Sometimes I have no one to share with and things don’t go well. Sometimes I pray and things work out. I guess it is part of the training.
Christine
This is great, and so true, thanks for writing it, I want to share this on facebook.
Thank you for dealing with this issue without adding extra guilt or shame.
Explaining the situation in the way that you did prepares anyone reading this for a future revelation/dream that may be similar to this, as well as putting the past where it belongs. In the past.
I have experienced this situation. And, while I read this, God was showing me how I have grown and responded differently in a similar situation where that person DID make the necessary changes and is fine. Thank you, Jim, for your willingness to address the tougher issues in life. Your response to my question has helped more than you could possibly know.
great, clearly communicated message we can all relate to at some point. Loved the ship analogy!
I found this tremendously helpful. Thank you, Jim!
Thank you! Great article!
thank you for your wise statments.
Wow – this was timely. I’ve had some dreams that depicted my son is trouble. I’m learning to interpret dreams, but still do not see clearly what my past dreams about my son are about – but recently, my son was jailed for breaking into people’s homes and stealing. The family is totally shocked. My son was living a secret second life. I prayed a little, but not fervently or consistently – I’ve wondered if I would have been more diligent in trying to get an interpretation and praying better, even in the Spirit, if my son would not have continued living this secret life. Or maybe my prayers kept him safe, instead of shot, when he was arrested. I’ve been afraid to review my dreams because I felt like a failure. Now I can revisit them and thank God for the training.
Thank you, Jim, for approaching this subject! This very thing has caused me considerable pain where I’ve taken on a false responsibility because I knew ahead of time, but just didn’t seem to do enough, say enough, etc. Fear, then, gets you over into trying to control people, which builds resentment, which destroys relationships and hinders God moving. Praying it through, saying and doing just what God tells you, no more & no less, frees you from condemnation and allows you to continue to walk in peace. Thank you.
I I read your word and it was good, except one thing that you said about “we should ask God to help us push them away” When God left to be with the Father, he has given us power and authority to come against any attacks of the enemy and the weapons are his word, the armor , the blood and worship. We don’t ask God to do it, we now have that authority to do it ourselves, so that is not biblical and that is why God’s people don’t have VICTORY says the Lord is because churches have not TAUGHT their congregation to TAKE their AUTHORITY in the name of Jesus and command demons to go. Mark16:17. and that is why christians are defeated by the devil is because we are not taking our weapons of warfare to fight againt the enemy.
Thank you. I was just thinking about a similar situation today.
Thanks, that is very helpful. God is such a wonderful God, full of goodness and love and forgiveness, just and kind in all his ways!
Thank you for the email you are sending me it is always good to heir from you. Many of the mail you are sending me is answers I am seeking for. May the Lord Bless you.
This happens to so many people including myself, but what does one do if no genuine trainning is not readyily available and such person is not rich enough to go to the far place where you have such trainning
God’s conviction vs. the enemy’s guilt
“This brings us to the second point. Conviction from God is specific: Next time, do this instead. Guilt and shame are diffused; they don’t have a point. Maybe there was something we could have done better, but if there was and God shows us this, He does so because it is part of our training, not because He wants to add to our already guilt-ridden conscience.
Again, we can expect conviction to be specific, and when we respond to it and repent, the weight of it falls away. It’s done. Everything left over — any fear, guilt, or shame — isn’t of God, so we don’t have to pay attention to those things. If they try to latch onto us, we should ask God to help us push them away. If it isn’t from Him, we don’t have to deal with it”
I so needed to hear that. Guilt and condemnation are such a part of my life on an hourly basis. thanks for that word.
I recently had a pastor friend of mine suddenly get rushed off to hospital with bad head aches and they found a brain tumor.They operated immediately,so severe was the tumor.I prayed that day and that night i had a dream that he died.
That was about 2 mths.ago and things seemed to be going ok.I have been pondering my dream.I am not trying to sort out dream symbolism. I heard the words “So-and-so is dead.”with those words i woke up with a shock.I heard yesterday that he is now back in a bad way.In the dream it wasn’t satan that said “so-and-so is dead”it was godly men,his friends.Can you put any light on this for me? Thank you. Eric
This is kinda scary to wake up this morning and look at tmy email, and see this article…2 nites ago, i was awken in the nite by a sudden dream or God showing me in the spirit, someone coming into our bedroom, around the side of the bed where my husband sleeps, to attack him, it ended with a strange scary noise..i layed there and asked the Lord wat was that?..i heard him say, get up and pray for your husband, the enemy wants to attck him!, when i wasnt sure wat waa going on, i layed there half asleep, thinking..thent he Lord tried to stir me, by this strange noise next to me, like a radio signal, or C.B type noise..it got me up told my husband, and i prayed for him…NOW, im not sure what to make of this, im very new to this whole seer thing, and i’ll be honest, im scared! i dont know what to think right now, if i prayed the right things, said the right things? how do i know im done? or of this wil ened badly for me and my husband?
This is an excellent article. Thank you. I have heard many people talk abput them, having dreams. and then the person dies. Or the baby dies. I have also had God speak to me in numbers. Recently, constantly seeing 911, and 711. My son constantly seeing 66.everywhere. Well, turns out, A friend of ours. Was in a fatal accident. He was 66. He was a preeet hard core guy. I shared the Gospel with him, and I will believe he heeded. I kept asking The Lord, about why I was seeing these #’s. I feel He said. 711, is for the future, to move quickly, and 911, obviously is for emergency. The cool thing is. The family let me in the hospital. I got to pray for him. I also became friends , with family members. Amazing thing, is 2 of Nino’s family members go to my church. When, they found out , I knew him, and had been talking with him, about the Lord. God did something very special.I had even gone to grade school with one of the people. Nino, died. But, I felt , I did my part. But , still, felt awful. So, thank you. This article is great, and well needed.
Very good info here.Got something from it to help in future training situations and to help others.
Jim, thank you so much for this word. I am in the midst of a terrible situation. I was drawn into a family matter I should have never gottten involved in. I repented before God and to the people I knew I had offended. I did it truthfully and was vulnerable. I hoped it would bring healing and restoration but it has made matters worse. I cried and cried while reading your article. I believe as I read it over and over God will help me forgive myself and bring me closer to Him and the good end of the training. I don’t always respond but your messages are always right on time for me. Stacy
I enjoyed your comment to this article because of how you said God speaks to you in numbers! I have been getting numbers my employee number God is showing that to me everywhere I go and every flight that I see in my office is my employee number! Blessings, Mary@oandiamo
Hi, Jim. Thanks for this article. In the summer of 2009, I was praying for a man who want to serve God, but always went back to alcohol and drugs. I huged him one night in front of our church, and he started crying. I knew he wants to serve the Lord, but he had spiritual forces that were stronger than him. Later in the summer, he died. And I cried a lot, thinking that maybe I didn’t pray a enogh. This article brough hope to me. Thanks.
This is a great reminder that results are always God’s business. The bottom line is for us to respond to God according to what we perceive at the time. It’s manipulation when we do things in order to get results. God is so good to want to involve us in what He wants to do, because He doesn’t have to. He has chosen to operate in and through us but always leaves us with the choice to cooperate or not. Same is true for whoever we may be praying for or about. Regardless of how negative a situation might turn out, we don’t know how it may have turned out if we never participated. (And we see, hear ‘in part’. We don’t necessarily get the whole picture/message).
I love how you brought out the fact that guilt and shame are always symptoms of condemnation and none of that is of God! The enemy is so good at doing anything to generate fear, doubt, unbelief so none of us would ever step out and do anything! We are all learning and will always be “in process”. Very comforting and a great reminder that God is God and we are not
Thank you so much for this teaching! It brought light to me…very helpful!.Bless you!
Hello Moonpye. First, recognize that God does not give us fear, so renounce fear. Second, Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world!. Remember that God is always with you. I know that anything spiritual (supernatural) can be a little unsettling to our natural senses. Its during these times that we must stand firm and confident in our faith and trust in Jesus Christ. As God woke you up to pray, He also woke someone else to pray as well. He never leaves our protection/salvation up to us alone. He is always awake, never sleeps nor slumbers. I’m excited for you as your “spiritual senses” are being exercised! Rest in Him and the knowledge that He knew everything you would feel and think even before He allowed it. There is no such thing as failure in Christ!. Hope this helps.
@Janine Henschel you are so right! jim is very gifted, but he doesnt know everything..we have to keep what u said in mind.and use the word to defeat the enemies tactics..your right when u said the church is taught their ‘authority’, in Jesus name..and alot people get into worry, which is the negative of calling those things, that be not, as they were!
Thank you for the article Surviving God’sTrainning Processs. In ’08 I had a dream of a man I knew as he was laying in a coffin while his wife sang over his body. In the dream I was weeping. I prayed many ways for him and was devastated a few wks to see his obituary in the paper. Immediately I felt guilt ….what did I do wrong? What should I have done? Later by accident I met in a grief support group his Mother who was preparing for suicide. I shared with her the dream and she was comforted by the fact God had shown me so I could pray for him. I still minister to her and she is gainning more strength. Your article ministered to me in allowing me to see that I did all God asked me to do. God Bless, Jean
@Donna C. thankyou Donna..so nice of someone to respond, but im wondering why i was showed this? and how exactly would u pray about this? im reading all these peoples responses, and some are similar to my warning dream..and they seem to end badly! so yea, this is upsetting..im wondering what kind of attack are we talking about? see, i wasnt shown that, just what i explained..whats a person like me to do?? personally? i think Jim blogs at times are depressing, and leave me feeling of not much hope..he needs to re-read his own stuff, cause thats how this last one sounds…and thats not good.
excellent article all around. i’ve passed this along to our prophetic team and have already received positive responses. this article is well worth for prayer team leaders and prophetic team leaders to pass along to their teams – excellent teaching and wisdom that must be read by all of us who have experienced or will experience what you have addressed.
Thanks so much I needed to hear that. Six months ago I had a dream the night before my husband was to buy a truck. In the dream I was driving the truck and the brakes went out then it took me for a horrifying ride. When I awoke I felt like it was a warning not to buy the truck. Instead of relying on the Holy Spirit I asked my mentor and my best friend what they thought. They did not think it was a warning and said I should not tell him since he was so excited about buying the truck. I listened to them instead of my inner witness of the Holy Spirit and did not tell him. As he drove home the brakes started to fail. Thank God he did not crash. Then within 2 weeks the radiator and entire cooling system went out. For the entire 6 months he has had one problem after another. I definitely learned from this in a Major way. Thank you for this article.
@Terry Bedard
great topic really helpful and assuring the following line comes to mind its helping me still : I do what I can and be satisfied with it .
I felt that the Lord showed me a while back that satan would be attacking me and wondered what that would involve. My mother-in-law developed brain cancer not too long afterwards. I made her a prayer shawl and many family members prayed in faith over it for healing. We have laid hands on her and prayed for healing also. Now we are looking at putting her in hospice as it appears she only has a very short time left. I wondered about this situation, if I had done all I was supposed to do – should I have fasted, etc. Thank you for this article. It gives me a good perspective to consider.
Thanks Jim, this was very timely as it seems like the Lord has been increasing the warning dreams for friends and family lately. I also recently finished R.T. Kendall’s book, “How to Forgive Ourselves Totally” and the chapter on “false guilt” or “pseudo guilt” was like a light bulb going off when I read it. Hadn’t realized that the increasing fear and anxiety beginning to overwhelm me stemmed from that. Just recognizing it was the biggest step in God lifting that burden!
Thanks so much for this Jim. I recently had a situation when a friend died who had been on my mind quite a lot. I was going to contact him, but he died before I managed. This has helped answer some of my questions and I feel a sense of release.
Great teaching. Helps to take the ‘pressure’ off. Although I know we need to be able to ‘pray through’. And then leave it up to God. He knows the beginning from the ending. So, I have got to let it go, when things do not go as I thought they would with prayer. Especially as an intercessor. It is hard not to take it personally, as if we are responsible for outcomes. We are to pray….to declare and to decree..the Word….to do what He says to do. Fast, if He says to. But leave it all at His feet. It is hard. I know personally. Guilt and condemnation wil l come. And they bring alot of other things with them. But we never know what our prayers and obediance to Him has worked out in the spirit realm. Things may have been much worse…or matters of the heart have settled. We will never know unless he allows us to see what was accomplished through our intercession for one another. Recenlty I was woke up to write Psalm 91 on a little sticky note to put in my daughters car..Why, at the time I did not know. 2 days later she was in a bad wreck. Her car totalled, her back injured, but not badly! I believe she was kept by God and the angels from more serious injury. God let me see, what the prayer over here was all about. It could of been much worse. And it witnessed to her and the parmedics. In the car, all you could see in the front was the little yellow sticky note with Psam 91 written on it.
Bless you all…
Thanks for this teaching.
This was a relevent lesson. My niece passed away in Nov. of this year. She was only 39. She was a drifter for most of her adult life but would call on me for help. When I found out that she had died, I felt so much guilt.I thought “why didn’t I keep better track of her”. But I look back and I did help her at low points of her life and I later found out that she held me in high regard. I tried to treat her with respect even when it was difficult. Others did not and now they are guilt ridden. I told them that this is a lesson from the Lord for the next person we may encounter that may not meet our standards. Thank you Jim for describing what every Christian will face at some point of their lives.
Donna R. Ecc. 3:1-2,3b says, “…And there is a time for every event under heaven-A time to be born and a time to die; …and a time to heal;” Only the Lord knows when it is our time to die. In His mercy, love and faithfullness you were likely warned for several reasons. Remember when the Lord and His two angels came to warn Abraham about the destruction of Sodom & Gomorah. He did this because of His covenant relationship with Abraham. You are doing your part in praying for your mother-in-law. You minister to her with loving-kindness & tender care which eases her fears, replacing it with God’s peace. You are the heart, hands & voice of Jesus in this difficult situation. Our prayers are sometimes answered in an unexpected way. 1Peter 3:12a says, “For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and His ears attend to their prayer…” You cannot minister to her the way you do w/o your prayers. In drawing near to Him (in your heart & mind) through prayer He is able to minister through you to one of His beloved saints. The outcome, as James says in his article, is in the loving hands of our Father. Our prayers are sometimes answered in unexpected ways, but continue in faith to pray for her healing and praise Him for whatever is His answer. May God continue to bless you all with His peace that goes beyond our understanding.
Jim Thanks! This was timely. I have been struggling with this issue myself with my son. I am clearly seeing this as “training”. That is exactly what the Lord told me in my prayer time this morning. But I didn’t know that he was talking about my son. Now with this article I can see much clearer. I have been praying for wisdom every day. Hopefully in the future I will make different choices, like take care of things right away and not wait for them to build up.This situation has gone on long enough. I need courage and stregnth. Shalom
This teaching is great. It is a area many are or have struggled with in the past. It is very freeing.
Awesome
Just recently my friends dad 85 yrs old went into the hospital in icu and was not expected to make it. I heard from God and told her ” he will not die yet as he needs to heal his relationship with you his daughter before this happens” she received that and yes he got better and woke out of the coma next day. Then, for the 1st time when he awoke he reached up to her she told me for the 1st time in her life she heard her dad say “i love you”. Then almost immediately after complications started and God told me “this time he will be going home” I wanted to remind her that the prophecy came to pass as her dad finally said i love u to her for the 1st time in 62 yrs which has healed the relationship, but she dont want to hear anything except he wont die. What do i do?
Jim, this article is amazing. I got a dream interpretation a week or so ago on a dream I had when I was 5 yrs old (I’m 37 now). It one that’s haunted me since I had it. In the interpretation, I was told the vision was given to me to show me the spiritual state of my father. It seemed at that time he was under a negative influence (the dream was about a cigarette burning our house down, and he was oblivious to the fire). The unresolvement of this issue caused other more destructive ones to manifest. This caused his spiritual boundaries and covering to be damaged. I could see what was happening and tried to warn my father (in the dream/vision), but he was oblivious to what was happening. The interpreter said that The Lord gave this dream to me to intercede for my father to overcome this negative influence.
Now 32 years later, my father is on oxygen full time and is down to about 90 lbs. I feel so very sad and defeated about the whole situation because I am going through the “what-ifs”. But I was confused about what God intended for me to do by showing this to me at 5 years of age. And, in finding your site and interpretmydream.com, I’ve only now come to find out the true meaning of the dream… what was I to do?
I am working now, in prayer and fasting, to release to God any burden, fear or sadness.
Thank you so much for this article, its timeliness, and your faithfulness to follow the Lord and help others.