Some years ago, my wife and I experienced a difficult situation that was painful for everyone involved. We felt that God was leading us to make a certain decision, but some of our very dear friends, people who loved and mentored us, did not agree. Some of them chose to show their disapproval in unmistakable ways, and that time became one of the loneliest of our lives.
One day as this was going on, I was trying to worship and found myself in a really rough place emotionally. But then in the midst of my heartache, I saw the Lord in a way that I had never seen Him before. He took my hand and put it in His side, where the spear had pierced Him. It was so real and clear to me that I could feel His ribs beneath my fingers. Every time I talk about it, that experience still affects me.
I didn’t realize the correlation at the time, but I have since come to understand that there is a connection between being in a lonely place and the ease of entering into God’s intimacy and manifestation.
Something about loneliness draws God. It is almost like a beacon set on a hill. When we are lonely, He comes and ministers to us. Yes, we can know Him in the middle of a host; we can meet Him in a crowd of worshipping, unified believers, and that can be a glorious experience. But deep intimacy usually happens in solitude, when it is just Him and us. I have learned that when I am in a bitter, lonely place, the Lord often shows up in unbelievable ways. Scripture says that He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He heals them and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). He finds us when we are lonely.
What does this mean for us as seers? We live in an imperfect world, and most of us have experienced times of deep darkness, hopelessness, utter loneliness or despair. Perhaps our giftings or callings have ostracized us, or perhaps we have kept ourselves hidden because we are afraid they will. Most of us assume that the lonely, painful memories we bear are burdens that we need to ignore or get rid of. But they aren’t. They are fuel for relationship. God is setting us up for intimacy. He is calling us to come close.
I can remember a time in middle school when I did not have many friends. Nobody would sit next to me at the cafeteria, do projects with me or choose me to be on the team. But now, on the other side of all that, I wouldn’t trade those times for the world. It is astonishing how God will take loneliness and rejection and turn them into intimacy with Him. He will redeem the time; He will make us glad in sorrow.
Bitterness will keep us from letting go of the pain and therefore allowing God to use it. But if we permit Him to fill the void that loneliness and rejection carved out within us, He will come near, take the ache and release relationship.
Yes! I really needed this also. The Lord has been leading me and directing me even though things have been hard. I have a Husband who seems to want different things than I do for us and for the Lord. We have had a very rocky marriage for 35 years. HE has never left me or forsook me. Long story! Even though it has been lonley many times. I really really needed this now…. God Bless!
Thanks for sharing. I am definally in that lonely place.
This Word is one of those that is timely and timeless. It amazes me the compassion of God to draw near to us. He does not shame us as we may think when we are most broken. He is ever present and quietly visits with us as to not startle are already bruised emotions. He is gentle and kind when we feel most alone and frightened. We tend to despise our frailty and desperate need for God. It is a struggle to go back and forth between wanting to feel on top of things and having great faith and to feel almost paralyzed at those times we are so alone. Thank you for the reminder that our times are in His hands. Our diverse experiences even the loneliness that comes does not ever mean that God is too far away. I loved that Scripture verse that, “He is NEAR to the broken-hearted.”
Be blessed…be loved.
Kimberly
Thanks for talking about loneliness, I needed to hear that.
What a great resource!
This is so awesome. I’ve dealt with loneliness ALL my childhood and adult life before I came to know the Lord I was a very depressed person and I didn’t know how to deal with loneliness. After reading this it gives me so much hope as I’ve done things unpleasing to the father to deal with loneliness. I’ve made decisions out of my heart and emotions without fully understanding the loneliness. I truly thank God for coming across this article as it’s a lifeline for me today in the midst of so much hurt, pain, struggle and disappointment I now see what God is calling for me to do and embrace. God bless you and your wife and the ministry.
What a timely word and did I need it!!! I have learned so much from your books, and website mostly that I AM NOT CRAZY!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!
Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!
i am in this type of season right now – & so this felt good to read your post ! thanks!
Thanks for writing this article. It is nice to know others experience this emptiness. I can relate to Paul’s writings in the bible where he wanted to be in heaven with God but knew God still needed him to do work here on earth. I have a great family, husband and everything I need, But my heart is to be with the Lord. My heart feels broken because I am not with him. Truly this must be the Lord drawing us to him because of his great love for us. I have found that nothing in this world can fill this void. Thanks for edification to the saints Jim. God Bless
I cried all the way through this article. I too needed to hear this. Thank you.
I know that sometimes the lonliness seems to be more at some times than others. And the word ostracized seems to be a word of encouragement or hope. That word makes me think of Jesus, how when He was being judged by Pontius Pilate He was completely and utterly forsaken, even by the ones that said they would even die with Him. And as Jesus looked for a familiar face to even watch and pray with Him, like when He was in the garden crying out to the Father in the final stages, knowing perfectly that it would be finished in a few days. He was the enduring, and waiting for the promise, that the Father had promised Him. And in Mark 15:33 at the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. Then in John 19:28-29 Jesus was thirsty. Then in John 19:30 Jesus said, it is finished after someone had filled a sponge with sour wine and put it to His lips. Then in Matthew 27:51-52 there was an earthquake that ripped into many things, a curtain that had been the holding place for the Ark of the covenant, and some rocks, and some graves and the graves that were ripped open were saints that walked into the city to show they were alive.
So I would suppose if we follow in Jesus footsteps, the outcome is greater than if we wouldnt have walked in Jesus footsteps. Considering He is our forerunner, and Savior. Jesus is the example for all.
I went through this, exactly like this, when I exposed the church of legalism, abuses, eventually fraud and theft by the millions. Everybody turned their back on me. It is also the loneliest years of my life, but I also got so used to it, enjoying the presence of the Lord. It is the most intimate time of my life. It is something, I will never ever trade.
please will you pray for my wife and i we need direction fom the lord
thank,s god richly bless your,ll.
Jim, did you notice you write an article about dreams and the number 2 and you get 4 comments, you write an article about spiritual acitivity and you get 21 comments but you write an article about loneliness you get 64 comments. do you think this is a general poll of the population or just the type of readers you have? Did that question make sense?
This is a Word in due season for me today!!!! sometimes we need to go through the dry places in order to come up to where he needs us to be. I have to admit it’s in these times that I dig the deepest and press in the hardest to push and birth into the next level God is calling me into. I too was a lonely child and adult at times…but I’ve also known when it was best to be alone because of what I was going through…having outsiders around during those times can steal your faith and create doubt and failed expectations…this is when I pop in tapes I’ve recorded for years and build myself back up, with praise & worship, declarations and of course much prayer with fasting is always on the menu…getting quiet, listening…..these will become the times you treasure the most.