Some years ago, my wife and I experienced a difficult situation that was painful for everyone involved. We felt that God was leading us to make a certain decision, but some of our very dear friends, people who loved and mentored us, did not agree. Some of them chose to show their disapproval in unmistakable ways, and that time became one of the loneliest of our lives.
One day as this was going on, I was trying to worship and found myself in a really rough place emotionally. But then in the midst of my heartache, I saw the Lord in a way that I had never seen Him before. He took my hand and put it in His side, where the spear had pierced Him. It was so real and clear to me that I could feel His ribs beneath my fingers. Every time I talk about it, that experience still affects me.
I didn’t realize the correlation at the time, but I have since come to understand that there is a connection between being in a lonely place and the ease of entering into God’s intimacy and manifestation.
Something about loneliness draws God. It is almost like a beacon set on a hill. When we are lonely, He comes and ministers to us. Yes, we can know Him in the middle of a host; we can meet Him in a crowd of worshipping, unified believers, and that can be a glorious experience. But deep intimacy usually happens in solitude, when it is just Him and us. I have learned that when I am in a bitter, lonely place, the Lord often shows up in unbelievable ways. Scripture says that He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He heals them and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). He finds us when we are lonely.
What does this mean for us as seers? We live in an imperfect world, and most of us have experienced times of deep darkness, hopelessness, utter loneliness or despair. Perhaps our giftings or callings have ostracized us, or perhaps we have kept ourselves hidden because we are afraid they will. Most of us assume that the lonely, painful memories we bear are burdens that we need to ignore or get rid of. But they aren’t. They are fuel for relationship. God is setting us up for intimacy. He is calling us to come close.
I can remember a time in middle school when I did not have many friends. Nobody would sit next to me at the cafeteria, do projects with me or choose me to be on the team. But now, on the other side of all that, I wouldn’t trade those times for the world. It is astonishing how God will take loneliness and rejection and turn them into intimacy with Him. He will redeem the time; He will make us glad in sorrow.
Bitterness will keep us from letting go of the pain and therefore allowing God to use it. But if we permit Him to fill the void that loneliness and rejection carved out within us, He will come near, take the ache and release relationship.
The Seers and loneliness by Jim Driscoll, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
I remember the teaching I heard from you on this subject. (It is on one your CDs.) It brings me great comfort. It is so hard when you are in the midst of it, it is so painful , so lonely. I like what you say here,
“Something about loneliness draws God. It is almost like a beacon set on a hill. When we are lonely, He comes and ministers to us.” It is the truth and it makes it worth it all. As we forgive, release our hurts to Him and not allow bitterness to find a home in us; we go so deep in Him, and He is so wonderful-it makes it worth it all. We can count on His wonderful Grace-it never fails as we ask Him. He never fails us, as we look at Him.
To Him Whom we love….be the glory.
Thanks so much for this article, Jim; it was an encouragement. I have a great deal of “lonely time,” and I tend to resist it and even try to numb it out with my favorite “soft” addictions. It was a wonderment to be reminded that Yeshua wants to spend time with me no matter how I feel – I don’t have to be “good” for Him to want to do so! Blessings to you for sharing this insight.
Jim, this message rang true for me in many ways. As a kid I didn’t have many friends, and my mom even said I used to spend a lot of time alone (wishing I did have friends). Since I’ve come to know Christ, I find myself treasuring every “alone” moment. It’s amazing how much deeper our friendship with the Lord grows during times of loneliness and sorrow, especially when we are willing to surrender the situation and let him heal us. Thanks for your insightful sharing.
Thanks Jim. This is a good word. It is a good draw, to The Father’s heart.
Thanks for this article. I have found myself in a very lonely place. This really ministered to me today. God bless you from Teresa (New Zealand)
Wow! I so needed to read that tonight. My family is in the middle of a horrible church split. Many of my closest friends question why we have chosen to remain. God and I- we’re good friends. We talk a lot so I have no doubt I am making the right choice. But my choice has just cost me the majority of friends at my church. What I see, they don’t see. It is so sad, and so lonely. Thanks for your encouraging post.
Awesome. Bring on the loneliness, Lord.
Thank you Jim for your encouragement. I really need to hear this this morning. I always thought that my loneliness was me just being Anti-Social at times. As I read your blog this morning, and looking back at the lonely times throughout my life, it’s not Anti-Social, but it was and IS Relational time with My Father and Elder Brother. Thanks again!
Thank you ,, I am and have been in that place and each time it is like ,does anyone care?, do they even know?.. yet as hard as the human side of us tries to understand,, God comes and we have the best frind with us, and the time and the jounery, is beyond words.. I love it when HE
comes and life melts away,, and peace floods in
the wow moments make up for ,, ALL just to be with HIM>>
Thank you for sharing this. Now I understand better the loneliness that has been there.
Thank-you very much. A very helpful article.
Once again Jim thank you, it’s right on time.
WOW! this is great read. & truth. I needed this. I recently had a dream that I went back to middle school and as i analyzed it, I remembered what i was like there and how it directly affected my communication skills and relationships. Your post has brought much light into what I percieved that dream might have been saying.
Yes, I have experienced that as well! In fact, He has been opening my eyes to the lies I have believed about the rejection, and not only is He delivering me from those lies, but He is taking it a step further. When an old wound is triggered by something someone does or says,I am able to recognize that I don’t have to receive the attack, because it’s not mine. In fact, I am seeing the other persons wound, and am able to give grace, and pray into their healing. I believe this act of unconditional love will transform the body of Christ. They will know us by our love . . . for Him and one another!
This is so timely. Thank you…
What a word. I am going through something like that now. Feeling very lonely and alone. I am not a seer but this article did help me.
Thank you!
i thank God for this article ive been feeling lonely for a couple of months now maybe even longer i just been recently divorced so things has changed. i thank God i did not become bitter but through it all i have. experienced a new relationship with the Lord. i pray God would continue to bless you, your family and ministry
Jim, thank you for this article. I have been going through times of really feeling how lonely I have been. Yet, I have asked God to fill that emptiness with Himself and He has come in ways that I’ve never experienced before. I have found that He is the only one that can full my emotional need. If I let Him do it, then I am satisfied and free to love others unconditionally.
Thank you for this gentle reminder of how to walk in a time of change. It does indeed feel lonely at times when you are seeking God’s direction.
The greatest growth and understanding have come in times of greatest loneliness, provided it was spent clinging to God as the only friend in a friendless situation. How amazing is God when we take time to spend with him alone. My best week ever, was when I ran away and spent a week with God alone. I recommend this to everyone. Put the time aside, and He will speak volumes to your heart and spirit! He truly never leaves us. Thank you for the reminder Jim.
Jim,
I am amazed you read my mail. I think a lot of times I’m the only one going through this. I needed to hear this.
Thanks for covering this issue. This article really helped me understand where I am in my walk with God at this time.
Thank you for this article. I am going through such a time right now! Several months ago the Lord asked me to step down from a ministry and actually moved me out of town. I am away from my family and live alone for the moment. There was must pain in the middle of me obeying God but have found out that the blessing of the Lord comes with obedience. My relationship with the
Father has changed and I am healed as if the situation had never happened. My family including my husband will be here after His retirement and all is well. Thanks for reminding me that I am not alone and you are right God does draw near!
Thanks for writing the article. I too, am going through a lonely period of time in my life. After reading people’s responds I can’t help put think…God is calling people to a deeper intamacy with Him. God told me this morning, “He was taking me to a deeper level in Him…where I live and have my being in Him”.
THANK you I needed that.
Timely! I keep going through a cycle of feeling on the outside because I have a close friend who seems to have everyone flock to them for ministry, invite them to things, etc. and has a very “out there” dynamic ministry of healiing and deliverance. I always feel in the background. I have to keep remembering that my calling is very different from theirs and what I am called to do requires a lot of alone time studying and praying (teaching and ministering one on one)! When I fully break out into what the Lord has called me to,soon!, I know my joy will be complete. As a child and young person (I’m a senior) I have always felt on the outside looking in. Strange. Little did I know that it would prepare me for the Lord. He is my hope and my joy.
Thank you for sharing. It helps to see someone elses example.
Loneliness, rejection, misunderstandings, and isolation seem to be a part of the ‘Seer’ package. There are days when I think I have a handle on it, and then there are the others. It is only God’s Grace that helps me get through the ‘rough times’.
First time to log on and this article is exactly what I am experiencing, as God calls me to himself.
Perfect timing! Lonliness is leading me to the throne room. God is so faithful and consistent . He is all we need when others let us down or reject us. I am finding Jesus is a whole new way.
I thought there was something wrong with me for being in this lonely season, but I know that God is trying to re-establish my relationship with Him after recently divorcing my husband. I had just started to take off in the supernatural when I met my husband 10 years ago. Much of what I had learned now has to be re-learned because he did not understand my spiritual nature. Loneliness can be a good thing if used wisely.
How true the things you said! I was raised in a family that kept themselves isolated (for reasons I cannot mention here)but the pain of growing up with rejection and no friends was very hard to overcome. I didn’t think it was possible, but God took all those things and all those experiences and used them to bring me into an intimacy that’s hard to describe. I used to ask Him why did He allow it, and why did He choose the parents He gave me. But now I understand and have experienced much inner healing. All I can say is; what a God He is!!!
This article rings true 4 me as well. I am a Seer, I have come 2 love my alone times, more sooo much more than my crowed people times, I tend 2 pull from the inside out now,@ age 50. After 30 years of ministry, where as before i used to pull from everone and everthing around me trying to fill that insatuable spot that i found out waz pre-reserved for Father the HS & jesus alone.Thank you Lord 4 lighting our paths straight 2 you. AMEN!
Hi, this is so true. I’ve gone through this for extended periods of time. I begged the Lord to take me out of loneliness. Just after we were moved to a new city, a party town more or less. I had lots of friends there and went to all kinds of social events. But it wore me down so much spiritually and otherwise. I believe the Lord was allowing me to get that out of my system, because we recently moved again to another city where we know almost nobody. I am back to the same solitary lifestyle. This time I love it and would choose it any day!
I feel intimate with the Lord again, and I can hear him more easily because I have more opportunity to be still. It’s the best thing in the world!
Thanks Jim, how timely! I’ve just been thinking of my life and wondering about the times of loneliness. I realised that I need times of not being distracted by others, to focus more on Him. He obviously knew that all along! Finally I am feeling secure in knowing that His regard is much more valuable to me than the fleeting, conditional favor of people.
Thank you so much for your honest writing. I am in a lonely place right now, and you have really encouraged me to spend more energy seeking Him than in being tempted to run around and try to re-associate with people I’ve been distanced from for a season.
Thank you so much for this article. It has come at a very encouraging time for my husband and I. We are right in the middle of what is a very lonely and desperate place, and we need to hear from God in our situation. So thank you for your encouragement to press further in knowing that he draws near to the broken hearted!!!!!
I know this life all too well…..
For me, this has really open my eyes to the period of loneliness I experience,and my desire to be byself, is to learn more of the Lord, and his will. I have been through much rejection, painful trials, and my lonely time, has helped me to walk through them with the Lord. He had helped me see situations, and his will for my life. When the loneliness comes I treasure, them because out of them comes gifts from the Lord.
This was a great article to read on the day that my small group decides not to meet tonight. This reminds me to look to God when I just really want someone to fill my loneliness. Thanks.
AS YOU WEPT ……..HE WEPT..
God bless you for opening your heart and sharing the truths you’ve received during this time in your life. All things work out for God’s purposes and plans – it’s an awesome reminder to embrace the journey and look for God in the midst of it all. The depth of intimacy you have with God has increased – what compares to that! I pray abundant blessing for you and all that concerns you. And great joy in the new level of authority you have walked into through persevering.
Thank you so much for sharing the details in this article as I and others have been experiencing feelings of lonliness. This blesses me and I will be forwarding it along to others. Thank you for this word in due season. God Bless You for your obedience.
Completely my life…thanks for the encouragement! <3
I love what you said, “something about loniness draws God like a beacon on a hill” I live on a hill on a small farm (and I am a city girl)
I have been shut in for quite a while now and I went to worship God and cried out to Him cause I thought I could not stand it one more second.
He came and I sang a prophetic song of my release and declared it in the heavenlies. He does come and now I know it is almost over.
Being a Seer is not easy but what joy it brings when you are released into choas and you have the answers that many lost souls are searching for. It was in your loniness you brought hope to a dying world.
The suffering of Christ. God Bless.
This is so helpful, has healed some nasty wounds,and soooo much pain…. and released forgivenenss and understanding. I’ve struggled with this as far back as I can remember. It has deepened my relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I am so greatful. I somehow understand now this is part of my walk, part of the race, and has given me greater confidence to walk where He leads and in His ways, in a new humility and transparency. Glory to God!!!
Thank you so much for sharing … I have heard how the lonely times are a necessary part of our growth. I have known much loneliness ever since I can remember, sometimes I have chosen to be alone and sometimes not … but as promised the Holy Spirit has never left me. Looking back at my childhood I see how even then I was always given supernatural strength to overcome. I am not always in understanding during these seasons but I choose to press forward to the prise that awaits me for I have found nothing else in this world will ever satisfy my hunger as Jesus does. I pray that my desire to see His face increases each day so that I will always seek and find Him.
It saddens me to see split-ups in the churchs but I beleive they too must be a necessary part of our growth. For cultivating and pruning does produce greater crops and we will all ultimately complete all that we have been called to do.
I was inspired by your testimony and know that in my darkest hour and lonely place God does hear and care.He can speak to my situation and bring peace with revelation.Thank you for sharing your story
I too have felt that loneliness and rejection. Had a dream of rejection and was walking away…then I saw the Lord turn to me and call my name…..and it became worth it all.
I too have felt that loneliness and rejection all my life. When having a dream of rejection recently, I said to the Lord, “I’m Yours, Lord, body, soul & spirit.” Then, the Lord turned to me and called me by name. It was worth the rejection to experience His love & acceptance.